Text and Musical Excerpts from In Harmony

TIMPANI:

Man, I was sure we were goin' to be the only instruments chosen to come here. Why did the Strings have to come?

CYMBALS:

Yeah, Timp, they're so stuck up!

DRUM:

They think they're so much better'n everyone else.

BLOCKS:

And those Brass. They're just plain rude.

XYLOPHONE:

No manners at all.

(The Brass enter.)

TRUMPET 1:

Are you talking about us? That ain't very nice

CHIMES:

Wasn't supposed to be. We just don't like havin' to spend time with other instruments. We like to be with our own kind.

FRENCH HORN:

Well, if it makes you feel any better, we're not exactly, how you say, "gaga" zat you're here eizer. We figured zis would be a solo gig, not one we'd have to share withozer instruments whose idea of fun is being hit!

CYMBALS:

We have you beat, measure for measure, anytime!

BLOCKS:

Speakin' of other instruments, look who's coming.

(The Strings enter.)

CELLO 1: 

Violin 2, I told you we weren't the only instruments here.

VIOLIN 2:

I knew it was too good to be true, Cello 1.

VIOLA:

Too bad we have to be here with those inferior instruments.

BARITONE:

Inferior? Whaddaya mean "inferior"? We can be played inside OR outside.

BASS:

He said "inferior," not "interior." Don't you know anything, you metallic moron?

BARITONE: 

Who you callin' a metallic moron, you high-strung hack!

BASS: 

High-strung hack? Well I've never been so insulted in all my life.

BARITONE:

Well, then it's about time!

TRUMPET 1:

Yeah, three-four time, like a lot of the music they play!

TRUMPET 2:

Good one, Trumpet 1!

TRUMPET 1:

Thanks!

Woodwinds enter.)

SAXOPHONE:

Just a minute. What's going on here?

CELLO 1: 

Baritone and the Trumpets were just being abusive. Typical Brass!

BARITONE:

Abusive? What about the things you've been saying about us?

VIOLIN 1:

Like what?

CHIMES: 

Like what? You should've heard what Bass said.

BASS:

I was only telling the truth!

SAXOPHONE:

Just stop it. Why can't you get along? We're all instruments.